Super Fart Lab Open the lab

FB1 research program · The FB1 Research Series

Part 3 of 7 · 1:16

The Method

Seven recordings, about 320 flaps, nine dials, a draining tank of gas and five modeled rooms.

Next: What It Means for Humanity Previous: Compressionless Compression The full research program

Transcript

Every good study starts with data. Ours started with seven real fart recordings, all in the public domain.

We cut them into single flaps. About 320 of them.

Each flap is one tiny puff of vibration, about a hundredth of a second long.

Then we asked: what makes one fart different from another?

We boiled it down to nine dials. Length. Pitch. Force. Roughness. Wetness. Sputter. Muffle. Bend. And breath.

Next, we modeled the gas itself, as a tank that drains as it goes. When the pressure drops too low, the tone stops, and only air gets through.

Finally, the setting. We modeled five rooms. Open air. A wooden chair. A bathtub. An elevator. And a cathedral.

Each one adds its own sound. Here's the wooden chair.

It rings at about 165 and 410 hertz. Amplified, unfortunately.

Put it all together, and every fart in the system fits in 12 bytes. Build your own at fartbytes.com.

All seven parts

  1. Part 1 · 1:01Why We Did It
  2. Part 2 · 1:05Compressionless Compression
  3. Part 3 · 1:16The Method
  4. Part 4 · 1:01What It Means for Humanity
  5. Part 5 · 0:55The Silent Ones
  6. Part 6 · 1:14The Sputter
  7. Part 7 · 0:50Peer Review

The narrator is an AI-generated voice, made with Kokoro, an open-source text-to-speech model. Every sound was rendered by the Super Fart Lab's own engine from public-domain recordings, which you can download from the free fart sound effects library.